Hate Your Boss? Here’s Help!
Things you should and shouldn’t do when you don’t like your boss (and vice versa).
Not getting along with your boss is always difficult, and during a down economy the consequences can be devastating. Working under the fear of a job loss brings on stress, further impacting job performance when you need to be demonstrating your best efforts. In good economies, the option to leave and pursue other employment is a viable, healthy alternative. So, what can you do in a bad market? Take a deep breath, step back from your emotions, and consider the following:
Absolutely don’t quit without a firm offer in hand, no matter how bad it seems. The long-term effects of unemployment can be more harmful than a stressful work environment, to say nothing of the loss of income, health insurance, and possible family problems.
Engage in honest self-reflection to see where you can improve, and start with your changes first. Ask unbiased third parties, your mentor, or a counselor to make sure you are objective in your assessments. Things to think about:
~ Are there items on your performance review that need to be addressed?
~ Do you have a pattern of not getting along with managers or authority figures?
~ Does this boss have problems with everyone, or just you?
Take the high road, and don’t gossip or complain about your boss at work. Even if your co-workers encourage it, don’t engage them. You will look professional and mature by comparison, traits that are always admired at work.
Volunteer and perform well on high-profile projects. This may capture the attention of managers and employees outside of your unit, and help increase your odds of an inter-departmental transfer.
Document all your successes. The more evidence you gather the better, not only as proof that you are doing your job and doing it well, but also as reminders to use as ammunition if needed.
Document your boss’s criticisms or bad behaviors. Record negative or unfair events as they happen so you won’t forget details, along with any witnesses present. Keep critical emails or phone calls if possible. Make sure these are sent to your home computer.
Identify and understand your boss’s needs, then fulfill them. Does your manager like to be complimented in front of others? Do they want you to ask for permission, or prefer you handle things on your own? Mimic the behavior of the boss’s favorite employee and observe how they make favorable impressions, then duplicate their actions.
Become your boss’s ally, not a threat. If you are showing your manager up, even if it’s legitimate or easy to do, you may have to back off until things turn around and you have more options.
Discuss your concerns if your boss is reasonable. If your manager is fair and rational in other dealings with the team, you may have the opportunity to clear the air with a sincere conversation. Don’t be defensive, take notes, and act on the suggestions. A simple misunderstanding may have initiated the riff.
If your boss is unreasonable, don’t discuss your concerns, and don’t take it personally. You will have to accept the reality of the situation, and do all of the above to protect yourself as best you can. Try to disengage from your manager’s attacks and enjoy what you do well, while continuing to professionally learn and grow.
You may have noticed that I didn’t include filing a complaint with Human Resources on the list. HR’s role is to protect the company, not the employee. If you have an enlightened HR department that has responded favorably to employee complaints in the past, then go ahead and approach them, especially if you can document that your manager’s behavior is also damaging the company. If not, tread carefully.
Keep in mind, a bad boss and a tough economy is an unfortunate circumstance, not a life sentence. During these times you have to deal with reality as best you can, confident you will have more leverage in the future. Focus on improving the things you have control over, including your attitude and behavior. Expand on the activities that are rewarding and empowering in your personal life. Finally, at least try to like your boss. You won’t hear any complaints about that.
Great advice as usual August! One point in particular resonates with me: “Absolutely don’t quit without a firm offer in hand, no matter how bad it seems”. I often speak with candidates after the fact. I usually find that the reason isn’t good enough to warrant that risky career move. Once it’s done, it’s done….there is no going back.
All good points to handle the bad situations until you find another job. This needs to get out to all those unhappily employed thinking about quiting.
Thanks Fran. I wish we could reach more of the frustrated jobseekers before they decide to quit, usually we can help them through the situation. Proactive career management is always better than reactive.
Great stuff August. The only thing I would say is don’t say never and never say always. I just left my last job before I had my next gig lined up. It drove me to bust my a** to make sure I landed the next thing. Sometimes that security that most career folks talk about is the security that can draw us all back.
Granted I had a couple other things in the hopper and I could probably go back to my old company because I left on a great note and therefore I didn’t think it was a great risk. I try my best to mitigate risk and have a end goal or plan for where I want to be but sometimes it is that little bit of risk that can be the deciding factor. Is that for everyone? Not at all. But never say always…
I always say, just start making relationships, meeting people, and building the bridges that you will need in the future before you ever need them. People ask me about twitter and networking all the time. The problem with most of it is that people wait until they need something before they do it. Start meeting people and creating real relationships before you ever have to ask for something. If you need a job right now then I would try to connect 2-3 times with the same person before I ever said I needed a job.
Stop walk in the door asking, and exactly like this post, if you have a bad boss then work your hardest to show them what they don’t see. If they won’t listen then I say screw that environment and start looking and using the money and time that you don’t like at work to fund your job search.
Keep rocking August!
-Shane Mac
Shane,
You bring up some great points. I wish all jobseekers thought things through and planned/networked like you. That is the key, analyze the risk, then have a plan of action – whether it is to stay or leave. Don’t react, be proactive. Thanks for stopping by.